My Dear Friends,
I know, most of you probably did not realize I was gone. I don’t know why it happened (I was sad, I lost my mojo, I lost my motivation, I had ennui), and I am not sure how I came back. I do know that it happens to so many of us. For me, I knew it would pass so I went along, pretending everything was ok. I was in flux. I was finding my direction. I was good enough to attend parties and enjoy the small talk, but not good enough to have dinner with close friends and real conversation.
I had a dark cloud over me, some of it was it was the huge dread of having to use social media to promote myself and my wares. I am sure there is a way to be real about it, but it seemed hopeless. I was not in the mood to fake being excited about my website, I was not at all excited to make youtube videos, I was not excited about anything.
I have nothing at all to be sad about, I have everything I need and more. Although Andy is not outwardly the most sensitive or emotional guy, of course he knew and has been slyly thinking up ways to pull me out. He’s been 100% supportive of me, in whatever I decide to do, he is a great pep-talker!
Perhaps I missed the interaction I had at my shop. In fact, I missed any action at all – sitting at my desk, working on my website, consumed with clients but not getting anywhere, questioning my path, etc. It went on far too long and I have bills to pay! Being unproductive is a vicious and ugly cycle. I forgot about the positive effects of moving the body. Getting back to walking and working out has had an instant effect on my mood and energy and mental health. I am always aware that my lows will pass, but whew I am so glad that fog is lifting! I think the possibilities and fresh start of the coming new year also help. This article helped, because (ignore the title) I think I am most of those things.
Whether I am sad or struggling or my “normal” of genuinely happy, I love to see happiness in the world. I love to see the day to day happy moments of my friends on Facebook and Instagram, it’s proof that you can be happy too, not the opposite. Call me Pollyanna, I prefer to read books and watch movies with happy endings, where good prevails over evil.
I cannot change the circumstances that make others sad, but there are some rules to being happy: Don’t point out the piddly things that annoy. Don’t complain. Don’t focus on the negative things that happen throughout the day. Do not take things personally said by mean people, they are just sad too. If there is hurt or pain or injustice, do your part, no matter how small. Here’s a great book for you.
Look up at the sky, the trees, the creatures, the sweethearts holding hands, the wonder of a plane overhead, the magic of the internet that brings the world together. If you’re overwhelmed by the negativity out there, block it out, do not add to it. Become a positive force in the world. It takes time but “fake it till you make it” definitely applies. Move your body and try to do what makes you happy and let it make you happy. And tell your people if you are sad (I don’t always heed my own advice). Even if they can’t help they can just be there if you need them. And hang in there.
It does not matter when or why or how it started (sometime after this post), or even how it ended, but I am back. I am fierce and strong and can do whatever I put my mind to. In my own way.
If this helped anyone I am stoked. I know many of you are eager to get in to this new year, let’s make it a good one! It is up to each and every one of us.
Love so much and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!